I went to a school dance on Friday night. Mrs. Ketteman.com went too. It was her very first school dance. It was my first in quite some time.
OK, let's just cut to the chase - it was frightening. I was unnerved in so many ways, it's hard to really organize it, but let's start from the top...
First, the person checking people in had to continually repeat, "No drop-offs. No drop-offs." OK, there's only one reason you say that. Apparently, some of the boneheads that we allow to procreate unmonitored determined that it would be OK to drop of their ELEMENTARY AGED child to this dance ALONE! To quote Quincy from Little Einsteins, "I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!" (Some of you know who that is. Some of you will one day. Baby/Little Einstein - taking over the world!)
Second, while what little I know of the school's music teacher is positive, his choice in music was a little suspect. I know some of you would argue that the kids don't listen to the words - but if that's the case, I'd just as soon play accompaniment versions without lyrics at all if the alternative at these ELEMENTARY AGED events is to play sexually themed music. If that music makes them shake like that - make them stop!
Third, the girls. THE GIRLS! God once again confirmed His deity and immeasurable wisdom in not giving me girls. 'Cause if mine ever did/wore some of the stuff I saw from these ELEMENTARY AGED girls, one of us would leave the dance almost immediately in a stretcher.
Fourth, the girls. THE GIRLS! As if their "actions" and wardrobe wasn't enough, these girls really have some...guts. Not only was my smolderingly-handsome son nearly accosted by what I'm sure is actually a very sweet and innocent ELEMENTARY AGED girl, there were plenty of other girl-chasing-boy scenes there. Yes, some of it was literally a game of tag, but others, not so much... Uugh.
Fifth, there was a startling volume of breakdancing on the gym floor. I thought that had died, but unfortunately, I was mistaken. In fact, not only was it not dead, some of the kids were darned good. And I wondered where my son learned/figured out how to do the worm.
Sixth, the male guardian of the aforementioned son-accoster was a perfectly nice gentleman that desperately needed to figure out who was in charge between he and his daughter (assuming that was the relationship). This guy first saw fit to help his little girl come over to our son so they could "hang out". But then...in a dark room with loud music, flashing lights, and about a bazillion people in it - HE LEFT THE AREA and this poor little girl freaked out. No, dude didn't leave the premises, but he DID leave where he left her and since we (adults) had to search for him, certainly it's understandable that this little girl may have panicked a bit.
In all, I'll admit it was fun. My sons are hilarious to watch - and my oldest actually has a little skill. He was turning some of the breakdancing moves pretty well. He's got the Worm solid and is working on some hand-stand moves... Seeing the others try to imitate him is a hoot too...
Anyway, at least the Mrs. got her first school dance. I think it wasn't exactly as every little girl dreams their first dance will be (ie, with 3 kids in tow), but we had a good time nonetheless...
Later.